


Good to you

by ofreverentia



Series: Only Human [7]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Based on a Calum Scott song, Eventual Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Lack of Communication, M/M, Not Beta Read, Past Relationship(s), What are Tags?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 03:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18908377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofreverentia/pseuds/ofreverentia
Summary: Javier always felt that whatever he had with Yuzuru was not something he would ever call permanent. He had loved him, in more than one way and learned to accept and take whatever he was given from the younger. Deep down though he knew it would not be enough.





	Good to you

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Please read "Dancing on my own" before you read this. You do not need to read anything prior, but that is essential to understand a bit more context.

Javier always felt that whatever he had with Yuzuru was not something he would ever call permanent. He had loved him, in more than one way and learned to accept and take whatever he was given from the younger. Deep down though he knew it would not be enough. He preferred more of a stable life, know that there was a person who loved him, waited for him. Someone he could call and be with instead of waiting if he even gets a cold look thrown over. Maybe being rivals was the reason they were bound to a doom from the beginning. Skating was essential like breathing to Yuzuru. Javier did have the passion for it but he also knew how it will come to end, how he would be happily making the announcement of his retirement.

 

He also knew that latest by then their whatever relationship come to end, because Yuzuru never showed any indication he would settle. Javier needed the reassurance, the constant closeness to another human and the Japanese wouldn’t be able to give him that. Them butting heads right before the Olympics any indication to it and that was the time Javier started to put distance themselves on his own. During that struggle he had met Marina and she was sweet, beautiful and understanding. Fans believed that she was jealous of the closeness between the two rivals, the support they kept on showing even after, to the media through interviews but she knew the truth.

 

Javier laid all his cards in front of her, told her that his emotions were twisted and he may not be able to give her the happiness she deserved. Her answer was one of the sweetest smiles he had ever seen and a promise to give whatever she can to heal his broken heart. Javier made the promise to try but he would be lying if it was easy. It wasn’t. He kept seeing the past and wondering what the future could have brought if he had done things differently. Maybe had been as open with Yuzuru as he was with Marina.

 

_ If I could go back _

_ To when you were lonely _

_ I'd be there to hold your hand, yeah _

_ Go into our past _

_ 'Cause we are the only _

_ People who can understand, yeah _

 

On a good day he is happy to spend time with Marina, to kiss her and appreciate her the way she deserves. On bad days he is drawn to the past, to memories hunting him and wondering all about the ‘what if’s’. Today is one of those days as he watched Yuzuru being his social self, or something close to it. He knows the younger good enough to know that during events he plasters mostly a professional face on, chats, takes pictures as many times as it is required of him but at the end of the day the number of his true friends is still small. 

 

Back when Yuzuru joined TCC he had promised to be a good brother to him, show him the ropes and never make him feel like he is not welcome. Rivals or not he knew how it was to be someone who wasn’t the favourite, the struggle and if he had a say in it, he would never let the younger go through that. As the years went on he also learned more and more about the harsh past of Yuzuru, the injuries, the tragedies and his resolution to be the one ‘good’ to him turned stronger. Javier may have not been the only one who understood the struggles of being a skater but he knew a thing or two about moving across the world not speaking the language and expected to show results. Javier made one of the few promises of his life, which he intended to keep no matter what the future brings. Should they hate each other one day, he will always be good to Yuzuru. Always.

 

_ The road that you travelled on, gravel and stone _

_ Has paved every path that I've known _

 

Going through the struggles of training also meant they grew closer. Affection shown through hugs and touches became regular between them. At one point it moved to the privacy of their bedrooms and Javier felt he was drowning. Yuzuru always appeared to be more complex and Javier got to know first hand what it means to share more with the younger. A relationship with layers and layers developed. They understood each other like no other. Words or just a glance was all it took to know what the other felt. Nothing could erase that, no matter how many times he had tried to forget it, or his emotions connected to those moments. Marina could tell whenever he was having those days and she let him talk about it, didn't allow him to bottle things up. Marina was a good friend Javier didn’t deserve. She deserved the world and the ground kissed below her feet, instead he just gave her superficial love, a relationship that felt more like half in, half out than the permanence he himself searched for.

 

_ I will be good to you _

_ I know 'cause I've been there before _

_ I will be good to you _

_ I know that it's hard _

_ I will be good to you _

 

With his retirement the chances of them to meet has become far less frequent. Javier had to rely on conveying his support to Yuzuru through media. Not like the world would ever forgot that he trained by the side of the legendary skater. The question never stopped but now that he didn’t had to compete against him, it felt easier to answer. Javier realized how important it was for him to support Yuzuru in a way he still could. No more hand reaching out to help him up from a fall or a supporting smile from across the ice. Instead he dropped a few hints here and there, voiced his belief that the younger still had a long way to go, a lot to give for the sport and fans.

 

Officially saying his goodbye to TCC felt harder knowing Yuzuru struggled with yet another injury, his season not ending on a high note he had hoped to have. Javier felt helpless and if it wouldn’t be for Marina he would have lost his mind thinking of the past, forgetting the future laid in front of him. She became a supporting pillar he promised to be for Yuzuru. Javier wondered down the line, where they did not even message each other anymore if he still was that or another person took his place. Did someone else spend now time with Yuzuru? Help him up from the ice or hold him tight at night where the nightmares and insecurities made it hard for him to breathe.

 

_ Because of my struggle, I swore _

_ That I'd always be good to you _

_ I will be good to you _

_ I know 'cause I've been there before _

_ I will be good to you _

 

Javier learned over the course of the months he promoted in Japan and gave more interviews he could remember ever giving over his career that the years before he had met Yuzuru weren’t as flourishing as they were after. They pushed each other, overcame their struggles together. Where did it all go wrong? The two were so good together even with the fights and communication problems. Where did he forget his promises?

 

He must admit that with him being with Marina, he tried to get more distance between them, his retirement helping but he could have messaged the other regardless to maintain a friendship. After all he did have that LINE app Yuzuru liked to use, only because of him. He wished to respect the relationship he had with her even if at this point they were more of best friends than a couple. Slowly they transitioned into a friendship as Javier was unable to love her the same way he still loved Yuzuru. 

 

Did they keep things up for appearance sake and also to give Javier a way to escape from the pain he felt whenever Yuzuru was present at a gathering? Yes. Did it do them any good? No. Javier stopped hoping too that maybe there was still something between them until the latest event where he couldn’t stop looking at the younger. His body language gave him hope but he attempted to talk himself out of it. It was Marina who dragged him on the dance-floor and spoke to him about it, in hushed tones so nobody could hear their conversation.

 

“He loves you. I can see it in his eyes. Javi, maybe you should try. I know he means a lot to you even now. Just try to talk to him.” She pressed a final kiss to his lips and separated from him, in aim to let him go speak to Yuzuru but the younger was long gone and nobody knew when he had left. Javier felt the small hope he had slip through his fingertips, thinking that maybe it was all too late. He excused himself from the party as well, retiring to his room. There he laid in his bed and fiddled with his phone, looking through old pictures, building up the courage to speak. He didn’t remember when he fell asleep but when he woke up there was an incoming message on an app he had not used in months.

 

Reading the lines, his breath hitched in his throat, tears caused his vision to turn blurry and his heart soared. Javier kept re-reading the words until he knew them by heart and as he looked at the time he hurried to write a message in reply.

 

“Please. I need to see you. I...I too. Can we talk?”

 

A reply on the other hand did not come and he could vaguely remember that the younger would be leaving early morning. He changed into a fresh shirt, grabbed his card key and hurried down to the Lobby. Maybe he would see Yuzuru there or could find out which his room was, what he did not expect though was seeing the younger walk to a car, headphones on his head. He called out but before he could be close enough the car drove off. Javier collapsed on his knees right in front of the hotel entrance.

 

“No...No...No…”

 

_ The places you've been _

_ Those places are haunted _

_ But soon you'll be on your way, yeah _

_ You'll never give in _

_ You'll find out what you wanted _

_ I'll be with you night and day, yeah _

 

Javier did everything he could to reach Yuzuru but it was useless. He did not answer his phone and if it wasn’t for Marina he would have stayed in front of the entrance for much longer. She wrapped her arms around him and helped him back to his room. They talked for hours and made plans. Javier wondered how he truly deserved such a precious person in his life.

 

No matter what Javier tried, it didn’t work, the younger was unreachable to him. Filled with anger and pain he did the last thing he could, not seeing any other way. He reached out to Brian to confirm Yuzurus schedule at TCC and he got onto the first flight he could. Schedule, interviews and promotions be doomed he had to see him, fix things and maybe there was a chance it wasn’t too late.

 

_ I will be good to you _

_ Because of my struggle, I swore _

_ That I'd always be good to you _

_ I will be good to you _

_ I know 'cause I've been there before _

_ I will be good to you _

_ Through all of your scars _

_ I will be good to you _

 

Arriving in Toronto he grabbed himself a taxi to get to his hotel, checked-in and took a much needed shower. If he is going to confess his love to Yuzuru he is not going to smell like canned air. Changing into fresh clothes he grabbed another taxi to get to the rink. He knew that in the next half an hour Yuzuru would finish with his scheduled session. Brian was confused why Javier needed to know when the younger trained until Javier admitted that he needs to fix some of the biggest mistake of his life. His coach was not blind and with a sigh he e-mailed him the plan for following two weeks with a comment of “It will be a hard nut to crack. He is...moody.” Javier couldn’t help but chuckle then, knowing exactly what his ex-coach meant with that expression.

 

Walking into TCC for any other reason than to train felt weird to Javier but he was a man on a certain mission. The girl at the counter gasped when she saw him and when he said he came for appointment she just let him through. Javier walked with confident steps towards the lounge in aim to meet Yumi and let her know he would take Yuzuru out. She didn’t appear convinced until he said.

 

“I made so many mistakes in the past but letting him go without a fight was the worst. I promised myself to be good to him and I have failed. I want to make this right.” With a sigh and a motherly warning she let him go to fetch her son and basically kidnap him from the rink. 

 

Javier had to dodge a few people with vague excuses about his presence until he stopped by the boards and watched a certain dark clad male glide across the ice. It took Yuzuru a few moments to spot him but when he did, he stopped in the middle of the rink, staring at him. Slowly he opened his arms, his eyes wide with hope and affection. One second, two by the third a small body collided with his but he caught him with ease having been used to catching him for years.

 

“I love you too… I am so sorry for being blind. I was hoping. I was… I failed my promise before but now…” He pulled back to look at the younger, brushing tears from his soft cheeks. “I promise to be good to you.” A whimper from the other and Javier leaned in to seal his promise with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: One more work and this Series is going to be completed!


End file.
